Trade Alert: Two Trims, Fed Prediction, And ChatGPT Helps Me Write a Wall Street Comedy
A few notes to turn through for today. Also, let’s do this week’s Live Q&A Chat at noon ET tomorrow (Wednesday).
First off, I’m selling DOCU and SHOP and removing them from the portfolios for now. I still like both companies but I’m want to free up that capital as we are digging deep into some other stocks that are probably more Revolutionary than these two and that I think offer more long-term upside. Stay tuned for some updates and/or some Trade Alerts for those in coming days or weeks.
All eyes on the Fed for tomorrow. Powell, Powell, Powell! I’m not even trying to game what the Fed will do tomorrow or how the markets will react to it. I think there’s still a lot of structural risk out there as the bankers and their regulators spend all this time trying to convince us that nothing’s wrong in the financial system itself. They doth protest too much.
You can take the poll I put on Twitter after seeing Elon join Cathy Wood and a bunch of former libertarian venture capitalists in begging the Fed to cut rates back below natural levels already. I do think the Fed should have paused in its rate hikes a couple months ago but I don’t think they should be cutting rates at all when inflation is still double or more above their 2% target level.
Remember back in December when I wrote this about the banks?
“Banks got real estate issues. Remember how everybody kept saying that banks will make a ton of money if we ever got higher rates. Turns out that’s not true, which is what I’ve always expected. The banks love low rates and a growing economy.”
The biggest banks in the world always want rates as low as possible but they also don’t want inflation to kill the economy…so feet to fire, I think Powell will do as his bankster bosses command him to and will leave rates unchanged tomorrow. And that the markets will probably rally initially off that for one afternoon. And then it’s back to a grind with a path of least resistance lower.
Finally….
I asked Chat GPT to help me write a comedic movie about Wall Street with some specific instructions about the plot lines:
My Input: Write a script for funny movie about Wall Street that features the following plot lines: 1) CNBC acquires Goldman Sachs’ prime brokerage business and David Faber becomes its CEO and runs the prime brokerage business for CNBC while hosting his show. 2) Cathy Woods accidentally locks herself in a metaverse reality in which fossil fuels are considered innovative. 3) Elon Musk acquires every social network on the planet and moves to China to run them. 4) Cody Willard becomes president of the United States and cuts every corporate welfare program, every federal subsidy for corporations and ends the Federal Reserve and moves the US to a currency based on dogecoin.
Include lots of dialogue.
Here’s what ChatGPT spat back out:
Title: Wall Street Shenanigans
Fade in:
INT. CNBC OFFICE – DAY
We see DAVID FABER sitting in his new office as the CEO of CNBC’s prime brokerage business. He is on the phone with his team.
DAVID FABER
(to his team)
Guys, we have a lot of work to do here. We have to make sure we maintain the quality of our services, while also keeping our viewers engaged. And we’ll do it all while broadcasting live on CNBC.
Suddenly, David’s phone rings. He picks it up.
DAVID FABER
(into phone)
David Faber speaking.
CUT TO:
INT. CATHY WOODS’ OFFICE – DAY
We see CATHY WOODS, a financial analyst, frantically trying to unlock her virtual reality headset.
CATHY WOODS
(to herself)
Come on, come on. How do I get out of here?
Suddenly, her phone rings. She picks it up.
CATHY WOODS
(into phone)
Cathy Woods speaking.
DAVID FABER (V.O.)
(on the phone)
Hey Cathy, it’s David. Listen, I need you to come down to our office ASAP.
CATHY WOODS
(confused)
Why, what’s going on?
DAVID FABER (V.O.)
(on the phone)
We have some big news to share, and I think you’ll want to be a part of it.
CUT TO:
INT. CNBC OFFICE – DAY
David is pacing back and forth, anxiously waiting for Cathy.
DAVID FABER
(to himself)
Where is she? We have to make this announcement soon.
Suddenly, Cathy bursts into the room, out of breath.
CATHY WOODS
(panting)
I’m here. What’s going on?
DAVID FABER
(excitedly)
CNBC just acquired Goldman Sachs’ prime brokerage business, and I’m going to be running it while hosting my show.
CATHY WOODS
(in disbelief)
Wow, that’s huge news.
DAVID FABER
(grinning)
I know, right? And I want you to be a part of it. I want you to help me bring in new clients and take this business to the next level.
CATHY WOODS
(excitedly)
Absolutely! Let’s do it!
CUT TO:
INT. ELON MUSK’S OFFICE – DAY
We see ELON MUSK on the phone, speaking to his team.
ELON MUSK
(into phone)
I want every social network on the planet, and I want them now. And I want to move to China to run them.
ELON’S TEAM (V.O.)
(on the phone)
But Elon, why China?
ELON MUSK
(into phone)
Because China is the future. And I want to be a part of it.
CUT TO:
INT. CODY WILLARD’S OFFICE – DAY
We see CODY WILLARD, a financial analyst who just became President of the United States of America, sitting in his office, surrounded by his team.
CODY WILLARD
(to his team)
Guys, we’re going to do things differently here. We’re going to cut every corporate welfare program, every federal subsidy for corporations, and we’re going to end the Federal Reserve.
CODY’S TEAM
(in disbelief)
What? That’s insane!
CODY WILLARD
(excitedly)
And we’re going to move the US to a currency based on dogecoin.
CODY’S TEAM
(in unison)
What?!
CUT TO:
INT. CATHY WOODS’ OFFICE – DAY
We see CATHY WOODS is scrolling through her social media feeds when she comes across a news article about Cody’s plans.
CATHY WOODS
(to herself)
Oh my god, what is Cody thinking?
Suddenly, her virtual reality headset starts to malfunction, and she finds herself locked in a metaverse reality where fossil fuels are considered innovative.
CATHY WOODS
(panicking)
Oh no, not this again!
She tries to take off her headset, but it won’t budge.
CATHY WOODS
(pleadingly)
Somebody, please help me!
CUT TO:
INT. ELON MUSK’S OFFICE – DAY
We see Elon on a video call with David and Cody.
ELON MUSK
(to David and Cody)
Gentlemen, I have a proposal for you. I have acquired every social network on the planet, and I want you both to help me run them.
DAVID FABER
(skeptically)
And why should we trust you?
ELON MUSK
(sincerely)
Because I believe in a world where finance and technology can work together for the betterment of society. And I think we can do great things together.
CODY WILLARD
(smiling)
I like the sound of that.
DAVID FABER
(nodding)
Me too.
CUT TO:
INT. CATHY WOODS’ VIRTUAL REALITY – DAY
We see Cathy still struggling to get out of the metaverse reality.
CATHY WOODS
(to herself)
This is insane. How do I get out of here?
Suddenly, she hears a voice coming from her headset.
ELON MUSK (V.O.)
(on the headset)
Cathy, it’s Elon. Can you hear me?
CATHY WOODS
(surprised)
Elon? How are you in my headset?
ELON MUSK (V.O.)
(on the headset)
Long story. But I’m here to help you get out of there.
Cathy follows Elon’s instructions, and she finally manages to unlock her headset and escape the metaverse reality.
CUT TO:
INT. CNBC OFFICE – DAY
David, Cody, and Cathy are all sitting in a meeting room, discussing their plans for the future.
DAVID FABER
(to Cathy and Cody)
Guys, I think we have a real opportunity here to shake up the world of finance and technology. What do you say?
CODY WILLARD
(nodding)
I’m in.
CATHY WOODS
(excitedly)
Me too!
Suddenly, Elon bursts into the room, holding a dogecoin wallet.
ELON MUSK
(excitedly)
Guys, I just made a fortune on dogecoin. We have to invest in this.
Everyone looks at him in shock.
DAVID FABER
(skeptically)
Are you serious?
ELON MUSK
(grinning)
Absolutely.
The four of them share a laugh, and the screen fades to black.
FADE TO BLACK.
THE END.
